I picked this little gem up off the Amia forums months and months ago when I saw it in passing. I was mucking around in my log directory and found it there. It still cracks me up to read it so I thought I'd share it with you. Some references are Amia specific, but it still works.
Without further fanfare, allow me to present....
LORD OF THE RINGS... (in Neverwinter Nights!)
*Cuts to scene on top of watchtower*
*Aragorn fights the Nazgul rather ineptly*
Sam: I thought you Rangers could dual-wield?
Aragorn: Well, yes, but torches aren't actually weapons in NWN, so I'm having to use that club called the Torch from Furth's and it stiffing me for a -4AB penalty. And these bastards are melee Pale Masters. Powergamers!
Ringwraith: Ach, just because you're STR-based but can't wear better than studded leathers.
Aragorn: You didn't pick up Epic Energy Resistance:Fire by any chance, did you?
Ringwraith: Don't be daft, I just wear the Fire King's Belt.....oh bugger this is a Frost Giant's.
*Aragorn throws flaming club at his face and he's pyropwned*
Aragorn: He's been stabbed by a Morgul Blade. This is beyond my skill to heal.
Merry: No isn't, we'll just sit here and RP for a bit until you can rest again and then you cast Neutralise Poison. It's what? A secord or third level Ranger spell?
Aragorn: Um....yeah...let's just go and make some Greater Restoration potions. Do you know the Athelas plant, Sam?
Sam: Athelas?
Aragorn: It looks a bit like the DMFI FX Wand
Sam: Ahh, righto.
Pippin: I didn't know Sam was a DM.
*Aragorn is crept up on by Arwen*
Arwen: What's this? A Ranger could off his guard?
Aragorn: I'm Spot-based and you were behind me?
Arwen: Even so, I only took a few ranks in it for RP. How crap can your WIS be?
Aragorn: ...
*Meanwhile, at Isengard, Saruman has revealed himself to be evil*
Gandalf: Bugger! I knew I should have Detected Evil on you.
Saruman: You're a Sorc/Pally? Powergamer!
Gandalf: I had to! I needed CHA base for the high Intimidate to scare the bejesus out of Bilbo earlier on.
Saruman: Yeah, yeah. *Bigby's!*
Gandalf: *Counterspell!*
Saruman: *Balagarn's*
Gandalf: *Counterspell!* I'm so going to outlast you, silly Wizzie
Saruman: You wish. I'm wearing half the Gauntlet's Bonus Wizzie spells items, you can't get into Tarkuul for their bonus Sorc spell items, and I camped Icy until he dropped a +6 Helm of Intellect.
Gandalf: Powergamer!
Saruman: *Timestop + Maxed Isaac's!*
Gandalf: You can't do that, it's not in the film!
Saruman: Time. Stop. Of course it's not *visible* in the film, it took less than one frame to happen by your measurement of time. They cut it out because they though it was dirt on the negative.
Gandalf: *Is Bigbied right up onto the roof*
*Cuts to scene on top of Caladras Mountain. Everyone but Legolas is up to their waist in snow*
Frodo: H-h-h-ow is it he's not all b-b-bogged down and cold and stuff?
Legolas: I've got 40DEX, Epic Focus Discipline and Epic Focus: Tumble, and I got one of the first lot of Umberlee Rings.
Pippin: P-P-p-p-p-power-g--g-gamer!
Sam: I bet you wish you'd not said that in front of me. If I crash and the server's full, I'm coming on DMside and swapping the right one in.
Merry: P-P-p-p...
Legolas: Don't even say it..
Merry: ....wned!
Legolas: Bah.
Boromir: Anyway, Frodo's got a point, he should be getting buffed for this bit. Umm..cast Endure Elements and Cat's Grace on him, Aragorn.
Aragorn: Umm...how about we go back another way?
Gimli: Let's go to Moria. I'm bound to the mushrooms right outside it.
Everyone: Hurray!
*The noise loosens the ice from above*
Everyone: Ice Storm! *dives under the snow*
Legolas: Pfft, I've got Improved Evasion and 52 Reflex.
Gandalf (from under snow): There's no save, you g00b.
*Legolas is pwned*
*Cut to inside of Moria Gandalf is showing them the mineworks*
Gandalf: The real wealth of Moria was not in gold, or jewels, but in....Dream Coins *glowy light from below, everyone is gobsmacked* Bilbo had a Dreamcoin serk from Thorin.
Gimli: Ohhhh! That was a kingly gift!
Gandalf: Indeed. I never told Bilbo, but it's worth was more than that of the Shire.
Sam: Yeah, it's an old Arelith item. We let him keep it because he's purely an RP character now. We'd be talking bans if he twinked someone with it.
*Frodo nervously buttons up his coat*
Merry: It's dark in here. Cast Ultravision on us, would you, Aragorn? It's only a level 1.
Aragorn: Umm.....let's just get to the boss, will we?
*cut to scene on Khazad-Dum*
Gandalf: You're using a greatsword in your offhand? N00b! And it's not like that Medium sized whip is getting this staff off me. I skilldumped into Discipline when I took my last Pally level.
Balrog: Says you, you're running Divine Shield when you're clearly flatfooted *swings*
*bounces off harmlessly*
Gandalf: Premonition, bitch!
Balrog: Yeah, well I'm still Huge sized and I've got IKD. What's your Discipline like now? *pwns*
Everyone: Nuuuuu!
*Cut to scene of Boromir holding back the Uruk-Hai*
Boromir: Right, I'm in Improved Expertise, and they have terrible AC, I'll be fine tanking, you two just spam Sneak Attacks.
Merry and Pippin: Righto!
Uruk-Hai: Like I give a monkey's, I'm a CON-based Barbarian, you'll barely dent my DR with those things.
*Crippling strikes aplenty*
Uruk-Hai: Ack! Encumbered! Damn you, low STR and fullplate! *is Boropwned*
Luurtz: You bunch of g00bers. Just stand back a bit.
Uruk-Hai: You what? My Rage will run out and it pwns now. Fine, fine...*stands back*
*Improved Expertise clicks off*
Boromir: Oh shi*is pwned*
*Cut to scene of Aragorn and Luurtz fighting. Aragorn has just stabbed him in the leg with his dagger*
Luurtz: Like I care! I'm not just a CON-based Barbarian, I'm the *Boss* CON-based Barbarian. I've got DR that would make your Mummy cry, and in that crappy Studded Leather, you're just going to get hacked to ribbons while I sit and laugh at the a long line of 5's and 6's floating out my head. In fact, I'm even going to go flatfoot just now and Taunt you since I*is Dev Critted*
Dying Boromir: Oh....so that's why your Wisdom sucks.
Aragorn: Yeah...I had to dump something to get a decent DC on it.
Luurtz's Head: Powergamer!
*cut to scene in boats. Sam is running towards Frodo's canoe*
Frodo: Sam! Sam! Get back. I'm going to Mordor alone!
Sam: Yes, you are Mr Frodo! I'm I'm coming with you!
Frodo: Sam! No! You haven't turned off Shiny Water!
*Sam begins to drown*
*Dramatic pause*
*Battlelog reads FatFormerTeenActor has left as a player FatFormerTeenActor has joined as a player*
*Frodo grabs Sam and drags him back into the boat*
Frodo: I though I'd lost you Sam!
Sam: God bless the crash/slot bug...should we go an raise Gandalf? He's been at -12/392 in the Endless Stair for ages now.
Frodo: Powergamer!
Sam: Banned!
*chuckles and homoerotic lingering glances abound*
