[The Notebook seems to mainly comprise of summaries of past crimes, all of them happening in Sanctuary, as if the writer had investigated them and kept his notes inside. Amongst these are other articles scattered about as well.] 7th Hammer 1362

I am naught but a normal man.

I am as strong as most, perhaps even weaker. I bleed as men do, I sweat as men do, I falter as men do, I've commited wretched and vile acts as men will. I am no Immortal or Deva or Champion, yet why was I chosen?

I do not complain over this; I simply can't see why it was me. I am just as much guilty of sin as any other, but He has put his faith and trust into me, why?

[The next few passages continue on like this] ----

3rd Flamerule 1364

[Stains adorn the paper in some places, the writing messy]

Hells, they're bloody everywhere. I could see the darkness when I was in Traensyr; It did not surprise me. They were dark and I was not, despite my crimes. And then freedom? Is this really freedom? I had expected a haven, and instead I am only greeted with vipers. They're all wretched, all dark hearted, all twisted and corrupt, all caring only for themselves and none else.

And even those that are not; that select few who've not been dragged down and corrupted by these wretches, they are simply fools, or cowards, or spineless, with no initiative to get done what must be done. ---

5th Eleint 1365

[More stains over the pages, writing just as messy]

I came across some man in Lower Sanctuary. He had been hitting a child. I did not know if it was his own, I figured the boy would have stopped me. I knocked the man down and hit him. I hit him again and again. I know I broke bone, my fist was as red as his face. I couldn't stop myself. I just saw this darkness in him, as I do all others; Only the child was spared of it. But in time, the child would turn too. I hit the man again. I noticed a crowd and I stopped myself, the man was crying. I don't even know if I apologized. I just walked away and back to the Rock Bottom. ---

29th Eleint 1365

I've had this dream ever since I was captured. Though not all of it is from my eyes; It is as if I am being watched. They begin in a town, I think it is where I lived. It was a simple town, more of a hamlet or village. No walls or fortifications. I can see the Orcs crashing through the forest near by, rushing into the Village late at night; cutting down whatever Guards might have been posted. They're running into the houses. Bashing down doors. People are screaming, I see a room. There's a child inside with two parents sleeping nearby. They're woken up as something knocks the door down. It's an orc. He rushes in, slashes the man though he's not yet dead. The mother dives for the child and she is knocked away. More orcs come in and take the child. The child's crying, the mother's crying, the father is yelling. All the orcs begin to drag them out. [A few words are written but scribbled out]

People are being dragged from their homes and towards the woods, some are bound though most look lifeless. The child is being carried by one orc, the mother and father being dragged punching, biting, kicking, screaming. There's so much damn screaming. She's screaming for her child. I then see see a spear fly down. It hits an Orc and it falls dead. The Orc are in panic, dropping most of their quarry and running. They drop the parents but the child remains. The orcs are running, the mother's still screaming, the child's crying the father's trying to get up to run but he's lost so much blood. I then see the Lions. Not one, but many. Lions running after the orc, a hail of spears following the orc. The orc flee and the village is left, stunned.

I've had this dream so many times that I needn't think on the details. I had it last night, but today, it was no Orc that knocked down that door, but it was myself.

I know the child taken is myself, and I know the two parents to be my mother and father. I would wish they are still alive, but I doubt they are now; Yet one may still hope. I hope they do not dwell on my dissapearence. ---

13th Mirtul 1367

I came across a man. He was just as dark as most. But today, I offered to buy him a drink and I spoke with him. He was just as human as I. He was simply bitter. I cannot blame him, I think I would be as bitter if there was not this pull at me... I do not even know why I act and feel this way about so much, I simply have been this way from as long as I can remember. I still can be bitter at times I suppose.

I learned he was a Manager at a small shop. He was angry as one of his employees, an elderly man, worked too slowly. The Manager told me he'd fire the Elderly man after the day was over. I asked him if the employee had any family and he answered a few children and a wife. After a few more minutes I learned it wasn't an issue with efficiency in the work place, it was simply power. The Manager enjoyed asserting himself. The Store was his domain and he had to remind himself of this.

I learned the Manager's name was Timath shortly into our conversation. I told him that all men could do as he does, but few would hold the restraint to not put their power to use wastefully. Power is restraint and control, that is what I told him. I think he listened and he thanked me for the drink.

It was not much, but I did feel better about myself after that. I suppose not all men that I see this darkness in are as wretched as some might be. --- //[Work in progress]

17th Uktar 1369

I never noticed how volatile I could be until today.

I came across a sobbing woman with a child in her arms asking the Watchman near the Ruins for aid. It sounded as if a few ruffians were looting her home as she reported this to the Watchman, asking him to intervene and stop the robbery in process. Clearly she was poor, especially if she was a squattor in the ruins. The Watchman simply didn't care and used pathetic excuses not to leave his post.

I offered the woman my aid, though I had little but a dagger to defend myself or her home with. Unfortunately we arrived and mostly everything had been taken. I tried to comfort he but she wouldn't stop crying. I parted with a few dozen coins to help her, but I know it won't help at all.

I walked back to the Watchman and I spoke with him. I began to scorn him, which then moved to yelling. He knew he was in the wrong to be so lazy and unsympathetic and he was stuttering and speechless in his defense, he had no words to say. I yelled and insulted him for the woman's loss until I was shaking in anger; I nearly hit the man.

On my way back to my room, I came across another Watchman on his patrol and I sought to report the wretched lazy one to him. It turned into accusations about how worthless and unrepentant they all were, I was soon insulting this specific man; Whom had done absolutely nothing to warrant it. I caught myself before long and apologised before removing myself quickly.

I would hope after more than thirty years I'd be mature enough not to throw myself into a tantrum on the first available scapegoat I see.

Regardless, it's amazing how wretched a man may be. Acting without sympathy or care for his own behalf, taking that which is not his own, whether it be a few coins or a fellow man's life. In the end, I doubt most know what they are doing is wretched, and though the act in of itself is, I still feel the man who stands idle and watches evil act, when he knows it is vile, is just as much at fault as the guilty.

I think it's time I bought myself a sword.

20th Nightal 1371

I've begun taking a more active hand in many things around the city. I think I might like to run for Council sometime in the future, but first I must attain more of a presence and reknown in this city. I imagine I should probably wait another year or two so that those with fair memories might forget my "Town Drunkard" phase.

The Watch still has it's bad apples, maybe I should start looking at this more closely.

I've got my Sword, and a studded jerkin, I doubt it'll save me from much. I'm not quite used to the Longsword, I was always forced to wield a Scimitar for obvious reasons. More than enough for what I've planned, though.

5th Eleasis 1372

I've met many people lately, though they aren't all perfect, I never was either.

Anthany seems to be a decent sort. He follows Finder, a Patron I imagine to be a deity of exploration as Anthany was most concerned with drawing up maps of several places around Sanctuary; I thought he might have been a Seeker. Unfortunately, he can be selfish at times, but he still seems to be a good man.

Ganden is also a decent sort, a Tigereye Mercenary. I never thought I'd trust one of their sort. Ironic enough, I'm defending one.

I've begun investigating the Watch more closely after witnessing Private Shields abuse a certain halfling named "Runt", hardly fond of that name by the way. A day after Runt's interrogation in the cells, he dissapeared. Shields claimed Runt was released but no other Watchmen have any recolection of Runt leaving. I found it odd. I later found him in the sewers, slain and stripped of everything. He haden't been there long, less than a day maybe.

Ganden has also been victim to corruption and abuse at the hands of the Watch, specifically Shields. Several different instances which I'm recording. I've sinced raised Runt from the dead and I'm hoping for his testimony on what happened, but he's far too shaken and understandedbly so. Hopefully in time he'll gain his bearings. With these instances of Ganden's abuse and Runt's, I'm hoping to establish an Order of Investigators with more power to watch for corruption amongst the Watch and Spellguard.

The Spellguard is no better off. I witnessed an "Agent Delgado" in Lower Sanctuary being booed and shooed by a few of the citizens down there, it seems they care little for city officials. An elderly man threw mud at Delgado and he responded by striking the man dead. He was soon escorted up by a Mercenary. I carried the slain to the Mausoleum where he likely still rests. A missive sent to his superiors resulted in little but an excuse of, "Deadly force calls for fitting defense".

20th Eleasis 1372

Runt's changed. Anthany has changed, nearly all of them have. The only one I can trust is Ganden, and even I question that at times.

I saw Runt and questioned him if he was still too shaken to tell me of what happened, then I saw the blackness. I was simply too angered to stop myself, I grabbed him by the shoulder and asked him what he had done, I probably frightened him even more. It simply angers me so to see the corrupt prey on the weak, then the weak become wretched and angry and turn to that damnable path. He didn't answer me and left. I soon departed to have a few drinks, I wish I had more restraint.

A few days later, I investigated a murder with Ganden and a few others, Anthany and Runt amongst us. It seemed two women were slain and beheaded in the ruins. In the end, we learned that Bug, a wretched and foolish half-orc, Anthany and Runt were involved. Anthany and Runt claimed Bug slew them and they had no choice but to follow, that which I question still.

As Bug is dead, Anthany and Runt were ordered to pay a certain amount for their crimes, according to Ganden. Anthany claims that he was robbed of all his valuable, my God Stone amongst them. He then denounced me when I didn't believe him and left. I have no idea whom to trust.

The God Stones... It is a topic I've neglected for a while and I do not know why. I came across one in my travels and eventually learned that there were other forces at work to acquire them. One a wretched outsider called a Rakshasa. He knew I carried the Stone and was threatening the life of a man if I didn't spare it. I refused, but I had the threatened tell the Rakshasa I no longer had it, a story which would be true as I handed it to Anthany for safe keeping. I also had him swear an oath he would return it once asked. It seems I was foolish to trust him.

My review with the council was a few days ago, and it went well. Though I feel that half the council is content dismissing obvious corruption as mere "Coincidence". Looking at it from their point of view, it may be a reasonable stance as you can't simply believe everything you hear, but so many coincidences must indicate something, clearly.

There are times I think I might be in over my head.

10th Eleint 1372

Shields is dead. It seems he slew a man and was caught in the act. They placed him in that wretched cage, Runt and many others attended. Shields did deserve death, but no man deserves that sort of end. I bought Grulpo out of his stones and metal; With the hope the Watch would be forced to slay him with something more humane.

I was also watching Runt. Shields had wronged the Halfling so many times and I was curious to see if Runt would prove himself the better man and stay his hand. He didn't. I can't say I condemn him for the actions, it was the first time he could strike back at his aggressor and not fear. I still feel it was his one opportunity for Redemption. I've all but given up on him after that; Let him choose his own path.

Ganden's missing, I've no idea where he is, but Anthany had been insulting both of us. Though that's hardly grounds for suspicion. I'll wait to see what else I learn.

25th Eleint 1372

Anthany slew Ganden, I am almost sure of it. I had spoken with Nashira and learned she was carrying a Scimitar strikingly similiar to that Ganden once used. When further questioned I learned that Anthany had infact given it from her claiming he found it, "On a brave man".

Not such a lie.

The Tigereyes now know my thoughts and findings on this.

Even more surprisingly; Mandarin actually had the gall to attack me today. He demanded I leave the sewers and I had refused and so he tried to throw acid in my eyes. Fortunate for me my helmet was on and perhaps saved my life. Anthany ended up joining in as they were near each other during the attack, though I easily struck Mandarin down in time but stayed my hand.

Part of me wishes I haden't.

Anthany revived the man and both fled, when I reached the surface they had charged me with assault and attempted murder. Ludacris. Gaeseric resided over the trial, a man I've known to be reasonable. Anthany and Mandarin had their lie well fabricated, though perhaps the flaw was his claims I had stolen a crossbow from him- Especially his failure to claim what had been inscribed on the crossbow that was supposedly his own. Shown for a liar, Gaeseric went further and re-inacted the fight that Anthany and Mandarin had described. Athany claimed I had beaten Mandarin down before he could reach us, and so Gaeseric had Mandarin stand across the room as he attacked with sword. If Mandarin was subdued before Private Kayragh reached him, their words held more weight.

Assuming I were to be executed on baseless accusations, I could at least die knowing Mandarin had been beaten over the head by my own sword by Geaseric.

Mandarin sought to play the Councilor for a fool and purposely fell, which Gaeseric called. I was found innocent, Mandarin proved a liar, and Anthany removed of his sword as he had been a repeat offender.

Agent Delgado wasn't pleased with the verdict, Unfortunately he's found a new ally in Mandarin- With the God Stones in both of their posession this may not bode well.

4th Uktar 1372

I've decided I'll be running for Council.

I feel I've a fair agenda too; Unity will be my focus. The Unity of all men and women of Sanctuary. That is where we will find our strength to outlast and face down any threat.

The Tigereyes, Society, Spellguard, Seekers, Watch. They may all work together for our common goals. In truth, part of me doubts it possible, but it is an ideal goal.

8th Uktar 1372

What strength is there in Unity if it is forced? This is something I have just learned though I thought I knew it all along. Unfortunately it possibly came at the cost of many men in Lower Sanctuary hating me, though I hope they still accept my apology. I only meant to do well. I will have to make further amends.

If a man does not wish to join in Unity, he cannot be forced. And so the rest of us whom are willing will do so and allow the others to live as they wish. I hope they will in time join us. I simply can't force them.

I can feel it eating away at me, I no longer feel as if I am a good man; Not as if I have been bent and twisted into a wretched one... I simply feel "Scheming". These damned politics are taking their toll, I need to bloody remind myself that I care for the people and that is why I must become elected. This isn't about power or seeing myself elected over others or votes. I'm letting this all get the best of me and frustrate me. I should speak with a few citizens to see what they'd like changed about Sanctuary. It'll remind me why I'm here.

I've not seen her around for a few days. I wish I could.

28th Nightal 1372

This city has gone through so much in this last month. Near war with Traensyr, wide-spread suspicion and distrust amongst our guardians and protectors. Murder, assassinations, crime, riots, more distrust. Yet things look to be improving. Small steps are being made, laws are being passed which will bring about a better society to live within.

The jackals still nip at my heels but I never truly expected them to stop. They slander me and try to denounce me to good folk through their newsletters but their efforts are empty and failed. I'm pleased to see that they haven't been able to gain such a strong influence to sway the opinions of others so easily.

Am I completely content? No. This distrust is something I sought to avoid, and even I was victim to it for a period of time. I still feel as if I partially am still, though I try to avoid it. I look upon everything the Spellguard is doing and I still suspect them, but I have placed my trust in them against my better judgement. If not due to the chance I may be wrong and they are intending well then simply for the fact I've an example to set. That is the only way I can justify this.

Perhaps the worst of this is that I grow distant from those who I see as my friends and they turn on me. They think I do nothing for this city, they think I simply sit idle and watch as time flies by, and I disagree. I've little desire to gloat to them of my accomplishments however, even if I should in these instances. I just hope they'll see the changes eventually brought about and realise I have been at work.

There's so much left to do and I wish I could let myself rest, but not yet.

How are you, Mandarin?