[an invisible person tacks a poster to the wall of the Crone]
Do you feel lost, without a purpose? We can help you find your way. Is your life in Sanctuary bereft of many little things you once enjoyed on the surface? Sunlight, blue sky, and grassy fields? Perhaps you desire genuine beer brewed from fermented hops and barley, not the swill they have you drink made from zhurk-fungus. We can provide it. Perhaps you wish to taste tender, succulent filet-mingon, cut fresh from the tenderloin of a cow--and not bland, sinewy rothe flesh. We can also provide that. Perhaps you are a half-orc, goblin, or otherwise outcast who wishes respect and admiration from the same "civilized" people who despise and mistreat you daily. This has been arranged before. Or, in my case, I was once a wizard's apprentice who struggled with the simplest of incantations. I wished to be something greater. Now, my progress has grown by leaps and bounds, in a way that typically only age and studious diligence could attain. I am told Elminster at my age was still a common pickpocket--but I digress.
How is all this possible, you ask? My mentor is a worker of miracles and can make your Wishes come true. He wishes only an assurance of your loyalty in return. Should you be willing to serve, write a letter ((PM)), send it here (that's the Crone) for my pen name, Thorrk.