[a small black book made of rothe skin with what seems to be recycled paper pages neatly bound together]

My name is Willow.

And I remember.

I remember what he did to me. I remember what happened to mother. When I seeked answers, they did not help like they said they would. Instead. They killed me. But I am reborn. Reborn with an oath. To myself and to him. I -will- kill him. For no one deserves to suffer as I have. No child deserves their mother taken from them. No child deserves their head opened and tampered with.

I will gather the citizens. I will make them pity. I will let them hear. I will let them understand. I will make him pay.

Phandiates, you will harm no more.

I have told Kay my secret. I trust her. She's the only one I trust in this abyss. The Watch and the Spellguards are useless. Turning to them led to my death. Perhaps they fear what they do not understand. I shall trust them no more. Only Kay.

This body. It's so different. Yet so similar. I speak perfectly now. I feel wiser than before. I remember things from the surface. But is it my memories? Of that of the girl I now live in. I feel bad at times. I live because of another girls sacrifice. I live inside her lifeless corpse. I feared to die without a memory. I truly hope she didn't die without hers. I promise to not let this second chance of life not go to waste. I promise to slay the monster that caused harm onto innocence.

Different. So different. My thoughts, my speech, my actions. I beginning to believe this 'host' I'm in still lives as well. The mind is mine, but the brain isn't. My conscience tells me one thing, but my brain and body does another. My behavior surprises even me at times. Well, on the bright side, at least I don't hear voices. At least, I hope, the mind and spirit of this girl has passed on and won't haunt my mind.

There is something else. Sometimes, I feel as if my mind is reaching out of my body. I remember, my master telling me I have a parting gift of Phandiates. But what gift? The madness perhaps? Is it not gone already? I truly fear the worst.

My crusade to slay the monster is underway. I have layed my offer to a politician. One named Ivan, if I overheard correctly. I told him that by slaying an illithid, his name will remembered in the minds of the people of Sanctuary. With his help and his string of contacts, perhaps my crusade will be over as quickly as it started.

Now, I just have to find out more information on Phandiates and his city. Perhaps master Intryzz knows more. If only I could find a way back into his inn. He must've moved the portal. Probrably too much visitors and publicity. I must find a way to contact him.

I feel strange. Something has happened. While delivering a package to the Blue Mushroom, I came across a black wings terror. My arrows and axes couldn't harm it. It was vicious and bit hard. I started to panic as it cut me more and more. It's rabid fangs sinking into my skin, past my leather armour. Then it happened. Time, for one second, stopped. My mind blanked out. The darkess of the caverns were filled with blinding light. My eyes widened. I heard a faint whisper surround me. As if, circling me.

I thought I had died, but no. The whispers then faded away. I turned around and there lay the winged beast. Lying dead on the ground.

A helmed man, who was in the area enquired to how the beast died when I hadn't even touched it. I told him I did not know and suggested it had a heart attack. I still do not know what happened.

I did a task for a dark skinned dwarf. A few others and I were asked to carry some bags from one destination to another. We were asked to not open the bags. No questions. Just carry and deliver. But, some of those in our group were too curious. They cut open one bag and apparently there were heads in them. They took one bag back to Sanctuary for the Spellguards and lied to our recievers saying one of us fell down an abyss together with one bag. The Spellguard Agent who was with us says these heads are probrably for the Illithids. To feed on the brain matter.

Either the illithids grow desperate, or these heads aren't for them. If I were an Illithid, I would rather consume my meals fresh, rather than have half rotten, brain dead heads delivered. But that's just my opinion anyway.

On this task, I was annoyed at the others for letting their curiosity get the better of them. We signed up for the task and agreed to the conditions, yet that alcoholic candlestick Morgan put us all in jeapordy. I took off with the bags I had, to keep my end of the deal. But one of them, the man with bad taste in armour, decided to stop me, with force. He sliced me while I carried four heavy bags. At that moment, my mind was so fueled with rage. I could feel a tingling sensation in my head. It felt as if I had the power to reach out and harm him, without even laying a finger on him.

There truly is power in my mind as Master Intryzz said. It is up to me to try and understand what powers Phandiates has 'bestowed' upon my mind.

Raided a goblin fortress for the Seekers. Apparently to free some slaves. The battles were fierce and at some points of desperation, my minds powers once again triggered in a frenzy. I have no control nor understanding of my 'gifts'. I wish to learn more.

I will ask master Intryzz to help me understand this before I kill myself. I'll stay at his inn. I hope he will welcome me.

Time goes by so slowly. I'm currently residing in the Pyrimo inn. Intryzz will help me understand my powers and learn how to use them. At times, I feel like this gift is a burden. But most of the time, I feel a sense of clarity and ecstacy. I still have yet to grasp the full potential of these powers. But in time, I shall.

I am beginning to grasp my powers. Master has allowed me to practice on his gnome thralls. But he warned me that not everyone is as weak minded as his thralls and to use my gifts carefully. Normal humans won't understand nor accept my gifts. Like before, they fear the unknown. They killed me before, and they won't hesitate to kill me again. I must be careful. Already in my early stages of understanding my gift, I had used them in front of strangers, sparking enquiries and quirking brows. I must trust no one.

I still owe a debt to my master. A debt I must fulfill. I will return to Sanctuary soon. Once my learning is over. I will return.

I have spent a month here in the Inn. Hiding in the chambers and the backrooms away from prying eyes of visitors. I feel like I haven't slept since I arrived. My mind in a daze, everything is like a dream. This Gift is a gift, but a curse as well. Something I have to live with from now on.

I have been away from Sanctuary for so long now. I doubt many people will remember me. I wonder how many still live, surviving the dangers of the darkness. There's surely plenty of newcomers to the town though. I suppose that's a good thing since my secret will remain hidden. When I left, the city was on the lookout for thralls and people connected to Illithids. Perhaps now they've lowered their defenses a little bit. I don't know. I suppose there's only one way to find out. Go back to the town.

I shall return. Just a few days more.

Master spoke to me. He says he's aquired a new servant. A halfling named Frudoc Maynare. He has assigned this new servant to spread a prophecy. A prophecy of the a woman from the heavens, with white hair, coming to lead the people into battle against the Illithid. If this servant does his duty well, soon the people will be up in arms, under my command and Phandiates will fall before me and my master. Apparently, Frudoc is gaining a following under the ruse of a healing establishment. I'll have to locate this establishment and this servant.

I met up with Kay later. It's been so long since I had a chance to talk to someone. Someone I can trust. Kay is the only person who knows about my situation. My blessing and curse. I told her about the prophecy. She said she will lend her sword and battle next to me until the end. I am glad I have someone to talk to, someone I can trust. I suppose she's what keeps me sane, to an extent.

I have taken interest in two religions. One I've always taken intrest in is Shar. I've managed to find a priestess and she has been teaching me the ways of Shar. I also found a book about Hoar. It teaches that revenge is the true path. I suppose if I seek to exact my revenge on Phandiates, I should at least have the god of vengeance on my side, right? I hear there is a temple of Hoar somewhere around. I'll have to look for it.

[the page is dirty as if written with an absolutely filthy hand]

What day is it? What time is it? How long have I been out? I embarked into the caverns. Only to be caught in a cave in. How long have I been away, I do not know.

I pray Master isn't upset. I pray he will have mercy on me. I will see him at once.

I have returned to Sanctuary. Much seems to have changed, yet everything is familiar. I have yet to council with Master, but apparently he had many new servants in my absence. Alas they have all been slain. I have not seen Frudoc Maynare and I assume his fate lies with the rest of the fallen. The Steady Hand remains unopened. The stolent equiptment remains lost. The prophecy unfulfilled.

Everyone has gone wrong. Only I remain as a servant to the Master. I fear my time might be coming to an end as well. I feel eyes watching me whenever I'm in Sanctuary. Maybe I'm being paranoid. The only person I trust remains, though changed. Kayragh now stays in the Blue Mushroom.

Sometimes I want to run away, but there's no where to run. I am bound. My *stuck in between is 'second'* life is bound.

I must think positive. I must do this for mother. Never forget mother....

I've finally spoken to Master. He was not angry. Instead, retained his eerie calm and control. Everytime he speaks to me I feel a sense of ecstacy. It's addictive. I want more at times, I realise I am a slave. He is the master, I am it's puppet. But I can't help it. He has made me. He is my god now.

I have returned to witness the slaying of all his previous servants. He's given me a new set of duties which I must serve.

What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Sometimes I feel I have lost control. Am I no longer human? Slowly but surely I feel my soul deteriorating. But I can't break free. I am an addict.

The time will come soon. I've posted a notice in the city looking for mercenaries. I've come to a point where finding people I can trust is impossible. Hopefully some will answer my call and I can begin my hunt for Phandiates. I hope Master would be proud.

Master questioned my choices. I sense he wishes me to find people I can truly trust before I embark on my journey. It is difficult finding people I can trust, and will remain silent once they discover the real me. This is Sanctuary, of the Underdark. People are wary, scared, confused and paranoid. Myself included.

Intryzz has given new implants. Feeling this strange entity writhe through my nostrils to the back of my neck was painful, yet ecstatic. I bled from my nose and felt ill for a while. But I am fine now. Their powers are beyond what I could've imagined. I feel more and more powerful. I sense I may be lusting for more. The sensations these implants give me are beyond words. I dare say, I love them.

Alone. That is how I feel. Just me and my addiction. I've been using these ..things in my head more often now. I crave for the power they give me. The feeling of ecstacy compells me to use my powers more often than not. But I know I must be wary for soon people will question. I am no mage, yet I have powers which require no verbal component to activate. Soon people will notice this and I'll bring doom onto myself. I must control myself. But the temptation can be too great at times. Besides, these powers help me live.. but for how long?

During quiet times like these, when I write just before going to bed, I feel human. But when I wander the town and the underdark, I feel ..different. I'm no longer human. I am a beast with one goal, to obey my Master. How long more before I lose my humanity? Am I pulling my only friend, Kayragh, down to the depths of hell with me? I only ask these questions now, but tomorrow when I wake, they will disappear. My life lives one slow day at a time. Obeying the commands of the one who granted me a second chance to live.

Is this living? Somehow, I feel like I don't care anymore. It won't be long before I become a mindless thrall. But there is nothing I can do. If I go to the Spellguards for help, I would be killed a second time, and I doubt Intryzz would be so generous as to save me again.

Tread lightly Alex.. don't be foolish. Remember mother.

Kay has found a place on the council. I'm happy for her success. But mostly I'm happy to have a trusted source on the council. She now informs me of the current state of Sanctuary and whether my status has been compromised. She's also been helping me recruit troops for my army. Things have been going well. I feel less paranoid knowing the authoroties do not suspect me as an enemy thus making my work easier.

Slowly but surely, my duty to Master is being done.