*the writing is fainter and slightly shakier than usual*
I have not written for a few days, and much has happened! Too much to take in, almost. I envy Nichte her composure right now, for I am a wreck. I hope the Impenetrable Lurker does not notice.
I will try to put things in some semblance of order, and hope the writing clears my head some. Where to begin? The pilgrimage, of course. It was an amazing success. 13 people came, some of whom I'd never seen before, as well as those whom I had spoken to before like Grundigle, Vence, Maelstrana, Geist. I'm not sure why all the others came. A lot of them seemed to know Nichte, so perhaps that is it. She's strangely popular for someone so quiet and introverted. Strangely forward too, when she wants to be. She told Vence he should give me a lovely set of armour, designed to give a healer easier movement, for free and he did! Perhaps I should be more forward too. I am a priestess, I suppose. I forget that, sometimes. It feels strange.
Anyway, I digress already. The pilgrimage. Adella of the watch also came, and was of great aid. I think I will try to make a point of converting her, for, calous as it seems, when the watch contains such gems as the Helmite creature and the thug Leimar, I want a friend there. Particularly with Grundigle around. We were stopped barely a moment into Upper by the fool Leimar, who wished to search Grundigle for no good reason. The goblin, to his credit, allowed it, at which point the private of course began his usual bellowing that his meat was human, and wished to confiscate it. Adella, who was accompanying us, pointed out the unfairness of taking a merchant's goods without reason, and the fact that he had disrupted a holy pilgrimage. He, of course, did not care. Eventually he decided to arrest Grundigle, who, as usual, turned invisible and ran as fast as he could, meeting up with us later. I need to do something about Leimar, he is extremely irritating.
After the delay, we got off relatively well, and Adella quietly checked with Grundigle about his belongings - I didn't hear much, but I believe they sorted things out. The trip out was relatively uneventful until we descended the rope, when we were beset by enemies. It worsened from there, the creatures becoming more hideous with each step. Giant skeletal beasts with scythes of bone for limbs, the screaming shades of the fallen unworthy from previous pilgrimages, eerie lights that floated and burned. I will admit, and I am shamed, but for a moment I doubted. I feared that Ibrandul was angered with me for daring enter His realm with those I had not yet tested myself, and would forsake me. But He did not. All fought well, Nichte, Adella and Geist I noticed particularly; though Nichte was greatly weakened by their foul magics she fought better than most. She led the way forward, fighting with only her flesh against the horrors.
I will not detail the battle overmuch now, for there is too much more to tell. Suffice to say that, amazingly, the beasts were slain and none of the group were felled, though we feared for Maelstrana. We arrived at the holy room and slew the lights that desecrated it, then proceeded with the ritual. I was shaken and forgot half the words I had planned, so I kept it simple and let my actions speak for me. Many powerful items were given; rings and amulets, a cloak, torches and sparkling gems. Nichte also added maps, which puzzled me. Admittedly it is better to allow Ibrandul to guide one's steps than things made by men, but maps are not inherently wrong, I think? I must ask her of this later.
The room darkened and I felt his darkness surround me, almost tangibly. The earth rumbled. When the darkness retreated we found that He had been listening, and had blessed us with great gifts! To think of it is so amazing, I still can barely believe it. There were potions, and gold, which of course I distributed amongst those present for their work. He also left to me special gifts – well, Nichte assures me they were meant for me, though I'm not convinced. I did not fight well, I admit, and my steps faltered in fear. Still, the boots were the most comfortable I had ever felt, soft and supple, and the spear a thing of beauty that seemed to wrap itself around my hand. I decided that I would take those two but that it would be greedy to take the armour also, and to allow Ibrandul to guide one of the other faithful to it. Unfortunately, a Helmite thief named Christon decided himself most worthy and took it. I, fool that I am, head spinning at the glory I had witnessed, did not stop him.
We returned to the city and I retired to pray and rest.
When I awoke, I learned that Grundigle, had again found his feet leading to trouble, this time worse than any I had previously known. He managed to confess to me that vampires had his mind and watched his thoughts. He seemed terrified of them, but they had so twisted his poor brain that he loved them also. He told me that this was the day he would die, and left. Soon after, the watch set out to kill his new masters, with many strong arms, including the fool Brackish. I learned from Adella later that he lives, and killed many men in their service. She asked me to turn him in to her if I see him. I do not know if I can. I think I will tell him to flee the city – if he stays away from both the vampires and people, perhaps he will be able to heal his brain without harming any. I don't know. I should probably kill him, but good and evil are nothing but human judgements, we're taught. Still. Adella is a friend too, and I owe her much. I hope he can be helped, but I think he is beyond me.
I have lost my place. So much to tell. What now? Start with the bad. I managed to find Christon again, to tell him that he must convert to the ways of Ibrandul and prove himself worthy of the amour he wore. I learned he thought himself a Helmite, but of no sort I ever heard, for he kept to stealth and shadows. I told him Helm was no god for silence, and he should reconsider his faith, but he would not listen. I tried to explain to him the holiness of the artifact he wore, and the insult he made to Ibrandul by wearing it faithlessly, and he dared suggest it was made for him. Ibrandul would not give a fool like that a gift so worthy, and Helm – even I know Helm is no god of the shadows.
Nichte, shadows bless her, decided to battle him in the arena for it, the third time she has done so no less. She calls herself my hands, and I admit I would be lost without her. Unfortunately he was a large and strong man, with a powerful sword, and she but an unarmed girl in a robe. She didn't stand a chance, but she still tried. He beat her horribly, twice, using foul magics she had no access too. The second time she fled the ring and he chased her, still attacking, and beat her until she lay bleeding unconscious on the floor. When she dragged herself to her feet she called for the watch to see his crime, and as luck would have it Adella came. She was firmly on our side, and told him he had broken the law and must return our armour to us. He called us liars, whiny bitches, honourless oathbreakers, serpents and so on. Eventually we brought him before the head of his temple, where even there he continued to argue. Adella finally offered to fight him herself on our behalf. Nichte bled upon the stones of Helm's alter, a silent accusation he of course refused to see. The priest, who saw us as evil creatures in the usual closed-minded way Helmites have, was nevertheless more angered to see one who claimed to be of Helm steal and hide in shadows and ignore the word of the law-makers than anything we might have done. I thought he was going to excommunicate the fool. I would have. I have the armour back now. I will be more careful who uses such things in future.
That happened just before rest last night. So I will go back a little, and speak of something positive. I think. I'm not really sure. I think it's supposed to be a good thing, people certainly speak of it like it is. I mostly find it confusing. I don't know what I'm really supposed to do - being a temple acolyte does not teach you all the skills you need, really.... What was I saying... Geist.
Well, Geist said he loved me. Or rather, he didn't, in fact I'm not sure he actually even said he liked me, but he said, well....well he made it obvious he does. And we talked about it. He kept talking about how there were things about him I didn't know, and how he had always learned to be strong and such things. I think he expected me to be frightened or something. I don't know why. I asked him flat out if he would rape me if given the chance, if none were watching and no-one knew where I was. He said of course not and that I knew that, which I did. I think he was trying to paint himself as some kind of evil thug or something, which we both know is nonsense, but he said he wasn't. And then he said something poetic and pretty about snow or something, but I'm not entirely sure what he was saying. He said I was very strong to lead so many people and that I don't know how strong I am and I could be stronger, and I tried to explain that I didn't really do much, but he ignored me. He did say he would tell me his secret someday, just not now, and that's fair enough. I think I'm going to mostly ignore the strength stuff until then. Riddles aren't my thing. But... I think I might like him, anyway. I'll find out, I suppose. I told him he would have to convert before I would ever really consider him, of course. He said that was fair. He's going out into the Underdark for a few days – has business to attend to. I hope Ibrandul leads him back safely. Although if He doesn't then I know He didn't approve, and then I don't have to worry about it and won't be confused anymore.....
Now you see why I said a lot had happened! I think I need to go rest. Hopefully the next few days will be quiet and I can try to persuade my thoughts to make sense again.
Darkness guide me.
Fuinn.